working three jobs has really started to take a toll on my life. My body and mind are useless these days (or so it seems....) i can barely think half the time and half of the words that come out of my mouth are embarrassing. just now typing that sentence I had 5 spelling errors...really Chelsea, get with it! However, there is also a benefit or two of working so much. It takes my mind off things that it shouldn't be on...and it helps me pay my bills! YAYE!

I don't know about any other ladies out there...but I have a tenancy to spend money (and lots of it) when i'm sad. money that i do NOT have. I racked up about $6,000 in debt after my break up in June and just now started to pay it back...in less then a month I have repaid $1200. I know I can do it and I'm hoping this time I have learned my lesson.

In GOOD news, I went to an information session about school last night. It has me really excited even though it is still a year away... (11 months technically, but still SO long it seems) the course isnt all that long... January - October but its Tuesday and Thursday nights 5pm-10pm and Saturdays 9am-4pm....ack its going to be tough because I plan to work full time days as well as going to school full time nights. Should be interesting but well worth it in the end. Sometimes you have to push yourself to get to where you want to be right?

I'm not sure if I mentioned this before but my parents bought a new dog. Right now we have a 4 year old male Pug named Bruno. hes cute and black and I love him to death. he was my birthday present when I was 21...but things didnt work out with him living with me so mommy and daddy took him in and im preeeeeeetty sure they love him more then my brother and i. well they bought him a little girlfriend. a 6 week old female black pug (looks just like Bruno except he has a white patch on his chest and she has white paws) as soon as we get her (sunday) I'll figure out how to post pictures of her and her boyfriend.

pain

Life has been a little busy lately. I'm sorry for the lack of updates as of recently... I worked all weekend and when I wasnt at work I just wanted to be a bum and not have a functioning mind to be honest. Working two jobs has taken a toll on my body. I'm just not used to the constant running around but although my body is in pain its a good pain...I should not hurt this much after a couple days of work...im 25 not 75...

anyways. i didnt get much sleep so im off to bed. i just didnt want to forget about this place.

sleepy time?

I just want to pass out. Last night I worked my second shift of my second job...for a part time job its going to keep me BUSY! Shifts are anywhere from 5 hours to 8 hours! there goes my weekends! Oddly, I'm okay with that right now. I have so many bills that need to be paid off and random things running through my head that keeping busy WHILE making money is exactly what I need right now.

I have recently got into the wonderful world of LUSH and when i say wonderful i mean it... I am sad to admit that I spent $170 at their Christmas sale and I cannot wait until it all gets here (online orders are annoying). With everything that I have been going through mentally, baths are the most amazing thing for me. Even though my parents hot water heated seems to be giving out and I cant get a full tub of hot water :( oh well. i will sit in a lukewarm tub to enjoy the smells of my bath bombs or bubble baths haha

what do you do to relax and take your mind off things?

sixth sense?

funny... its as if the ex knows when its a good time to contact me... a couple hours after my last post, who do i hear from? of course...the ex.

i think it may have helped me deal with this a bit... if its possible he pissed me off even more. I think the feelings are still there between the two of us but now that we're living in different provinces again theres nothing we can do and we're too afraid to do anything. Anyways, hes seeing someone and hes happy. I'm happy hes happy. I never wanted anything but that for me. Its just sad we cant be in each others lives because i know we both want it in a weird way....

hard times

When I first started doing this blog (yes, not too long ago) I told myself that I would blog every day no matter what in order to TRY and make myself feel better. Well, clearly that didn't last long.

In April of last year, I picked up my life and moved to a new city in a new province where I knew no one, except for the man that I thought I was going to be with forever....6 short weeks later my world came crashing down when ended the relationship. You would think that in nine months one would be over something like that or at least on the road to recovery. Sadly, I am not. I thought I was but sometime in December it all came crashing down and I feel as if it happened yesterday. Neither of us fought to keep our relationship because our relationship consisted of fighting for the most part (we went from long distance to living with his parents...not so smart) He and I were friends for almost 13 years and now nothing. we don't talk we don't text we don't email. nothing.

I finally talked to my mom about it and we're going to look into getting some counseling because I think i really need it at this point. I'm so tired of crying over someone who obviously never cared about me. Well I shouldn't say that. I know he cared about me I guess just not enough. Either way I know I need help dealing with this.

I'm home from work sick today because for the past week I've had this horrible pit in my stomach because I cant stop thinking about him.

New year, New memories. Time to forget the old?

mommy and me

I woke up this morning to my mom knocking on my door (finally, after 4 years of being out of the house its taken a long time for her to learn to knock again...) asking me if I wanted to go out with her. At first I couldnt be bothered to get out of bed to follow momma around the mall so I politely declined. I layed there for a few minutes and wondered why... why would i prefer to lay in bed all day (much like yesterday) then spend some time with my mom?

I'm one of those lucky females. My mother and I have an amazing relationship. We've had our rough patches (dont all mothers and daughters?) but I know that I can tell her anything if need be. She might not want to hear it, but she will sit there and listen and try and give me advice or do her best to make me feel better. I remember in high school my best friend would always say "You told your mom that?" and my boyfriends always get annoyed when I tell my mom things that they don't believe I should, but shes my best friend.

So i got out of bed, put myself together, and hung out with momma bear today. We didnt do anything exciting, returned some stuff she got at Christmas that didn't fit, picked up some lululemon pants she was getting hemmed, dropped something off at my Mornings, basically just running errands. But I wouldn't want to do anything else today.

My mom is an amazing person and I am so glad to have her in my life. I always feel bad when woman don't have good relationships with their mothers because sometimes i think they don't know what they are missing out on...or that their MOTHERS don't know what they are missing out on.

ormorfi kopela

Some people may wonder what Ormorfi Koepla means...well, it means Beautiful Girl in Greek. Why Greek you ask? I know looking at me, I don't look like I have an ounce of Greek in me, but you'd be wrong. My Morning (grandma...) is half Greek and i absolutely love the fact that I have Greek blood running in my veins. its not a lot but there's some in there.

Why did I name my blog this? Well growing up I was often told I was ugly and if I wasn't being told I was ugly, whenever I had a crush on a boy, they always went for one of my friends...ANY one of my friends...and awesomely enough my friends always dated them. Back in 2005-2006 I actually got the word "Ormorfi" tattooed no my lower stomach but in Greek lettering and I adore it. Words cannot express how good it makes me feel every time I see it.

Right now my life isn't going exactly how I planned (really, when does it ever?) and I have been feeling really down on myself. So i though, why not name your blog the same thing that makes you smile each and every day. so here we are. Ormorfi Kopela because I am a beautiful girl, if not on the outside I am on the inside.

Today was a really rough day for me and I couldn't tell you what it was. Maybe it was reading old emails from the ex who still has my heart, maybe it was being alone in the house all day, maybe it was because I over slept....I really couldn't tell you. All I know is that today was terrible. So terrible,as much as I wanted to cry it all out, I couldn't. I just felt numb. Like I was in some altered world that didnt exist. Like I didn't really exist. Lucky for me I have the worlds best puppy who always seems to know whats wrong. Just when I was about to curl up in bed and take my 3rd nap of the day, he was at my door whining to get in. As soon as I let the little one in he jumped up on my bed and snuggled in. Which is not like him. Yes, he likes to snuggle. But he is normally very content with being snuggled up to your legs. Not this time. He came in and curled right up to my chest and just made my life so much better. I really don't know what people would do without pets like that.

I hope everyone else had a great first day to a brand new year!